Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
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