I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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