we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
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