I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
