He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
