NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
