so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
