I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
