It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
