Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
