I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
