Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
