Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
