I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
