lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
