i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
