I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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