During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We talked him into tasing himself.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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