guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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