that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
