he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
