I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She's the barista slut.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
