You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
