I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
