I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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