i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
