I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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