im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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