i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
