i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Randomize