I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
