She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Such a big mess for such a small penis
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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