So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize