Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
