I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize