So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
