did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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