Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
My balls are so social today.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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