We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize