Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
