There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
