.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
