Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
