I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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