I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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