Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
