He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
