I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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