He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
