I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
