I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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