Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
My liver just had a heart attack.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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