Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
