you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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