At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Never joke about your clitoris.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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