True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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