He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
