Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
