If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
