Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
