dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
