That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
