How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
