i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I think a kid would responsible me up
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
